Today I spent my time training the new guy at Red Bull. It went pretty well. Its still sort of horrifying that they trust me with the noobies. We spent the morning delivery everyone’s favorite energy drink and then left for an hour and a half drive to the warehouse for a sales meeting. Boy was that fun. (sarcasm) It wasn’t horrible. I’ve been through the training before. It was mainly for the new hires.
I sat down in the conference room about 15 minutes early. After sitting alone for a few minutes another driver came in and sat on my left. He said, “I’m sitting next to you, Josh, because you can make me laugh.” I thought that was kind of cool. I like knowing that I make people happy. Another driver sat on my left and then yet another one came in and shoved a chair between me and the guy to my right and sat down next to me. I didn’t realize I was that popular. So the whole meeting was basically me making joke after joke to the guys next to me. Even when my boss called on me I had a zinger ready. It was just one of those days where you’re sarcasm is on fire and you can crank out jokes faster than a teenager can sprout pimples.
They asked us to write down three goals for the meeting. Things we wanted to take away from it. My boss called on someone to read off their first goal and they did so. Then he made the mistake of calling on me for my second goal. I read it exactly as I had written it. “Kick Butt.” He then asked for my third one. I read it as well. “Take names.” Then I had written, (Of the managers at my stores.) He didn’t call on me too much after that. I don’t try to be obnoxious or annoying and I hope no one takes it that way. Everyone seems to love me so I don’t think its annoying to them. It just comes naturally. I can’t help it. I honestly feel like Deadpool. Its almost how he would act. All the one liners and such.
Anyway, you’re probably curious about the title to this post.
When I finally got home I checked my email and the office for the apartments I live at had emailed me saying they wanted anyone on the second floor (me) to shovel off the balcony. So instead of letting the snow slowly melt and fall to the ground in thousands of little harmless drops of water, they want me to hurl shovel fulls of packed, melty, snow and ice off my second floor balcony and possibly murder the old people who live beneath me. Its dark out at 7:30 so how can I be sure the senior citizens aren’t out back taking a smoke? So I just spent the past ten minutes hurling frozen euthanasia down to the ground while blindly praying my neighbors would be alive to see Jeopardy at least one last time.
Random thought. While I’m writing this, Arrow is playing on tv. I never watched this show before but its basically Batman with a bow. Pretty close. Like whoa.
Good night world.